Saturday, March 14, 2009
Don't you ever wonder WHY you make yourself feel guilty about something you did or didn't do or said or didn't say? I always put so much extra pressure on myself, like I really need it, and then I have to talk to myself and try to think out the situation. We humans are very complicated. I always feel like I must justify why I said something or told someone I would go somewhere and then changed my mind. You know sometimes I just need to wind down and have some time to myself. I'm sure most people are like this. My nature is to try to make time for everyone and I really can't sometimes. I find that on the weekends, especially if I don't have anything pressing, I NEED to take some "veg" time just for ME. Watch some non-thinking shows on TV or some of my shows I've recorded. I think we are all entitled to this and then we feel that we should make our "free", no stress time counter productive by trying to have an anxiety attack over trying to appease someone because, as humans, we simply changed our mind. It seems if I put more and more pressure on myself it takes me down to the core of the earth and that is not a good place to be. So today I am forcing myself to feel "free and open" and enjoy my choices, even the ones I've changed, and not feel bad about it. I almost feel like I'm doing something bad...anyway Alex started a job, he is so excited about and Will has now been in his first apt now for about 2 mos. WOW, I am really gonna have to work on myself to get used to all these great changes. I will eventually have more and more time to myself. It is raining and very chilly today, so I am gonna go relax and breathe freely. I hope you all have a fabulous weekend and enjoy YOUR time.
Remember: You are in charge of yourself