Saturday, March 14, 2009
Don't you ever wonder WHY you make yourself feel guilty about something you did or didn't do or said or didn't say? I always put so much extra pressure on myself, like I really need it, and then I have to talk to myself and try to think out the situation. We humans are very complicated. I always feel like I must justify why I said something or told someone I would go somewhere and then changed my mind. You know sometimes I just need to wind down and have some time to myself. I'm sure most people are like this. My nature is to try to make time for everyone and I really can't sometimes. I find that on the weekends, especially if I don't have anything pressing, I NEED to take some "veg" time just for ME. Watch some non-thinking shows on TV or some of my shows I've recorded. I think we are all entitled to this and then we feel that we should make our "free", no stress time counter productive by trying to have an anxiety attack over trying to appease someone because, as humans, we simply changed our mind. It seems if I put more and more pressure on myself it takes me down to the core of the earth and that is not a good place to be. So today I am forcing myself to feel "free and open" and enjoy my choices, even the ones I've changed, and not feel bad about it. I almost feel like I'm doing something bad...anyway Alex started a job, he is so excited about and Will has now been in his first apt now for about 2 mos. WOW, I am really gonna have to work on myself to get used to all these great changes. I will eventually have more and more time to myself. It is raining and very chilly today, so I am gonna go relax and breathe freely. I hope you all have a fabulous weekend and enjoy YOUR time.
Remember: You are in charge of yourself
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Hello people, it has been so long since I have checked in. Sorry for that, I have been in "survival" mode and that takes a lot of time consuming concentration. Being back at work like a "real" person again has been so great! I have managed to help my bleak financial situation out and in the interim have had to be very straight forward and honest with my boys and I had to tell them exactly what was happening and that it would all work out. We have had to run on just a few dollars till the next payday and figure out meals and gas money and sports functions and school and you know LIFE things. It has been a long and rough road but I have always believed that you should level with your kids, especially when they are old enough to know. Kids can sense when things aren't going well, we Parents, well I don't, hide it real well. I have tried and then I thought, "hey, I am a single Mom and I have taken them through the good, the bad and the ugly, so what the heck". They have been more at ease just because I told them exactly how it was and how it would be and that "they" needed to help out as much as possible. Some Parents think that you shouldn't tell your kids the truth about what's going on in the family, my Parents did that with my Brother and I and as we grew older we had to tell them we didn't like that. I am sure they had their reasons and probably thought it best. Don't keep your kids in the dark, they can handle a lot more than you think. It keeps you grounded in a dysfunctional way, scrambling here and there, but you can feel better knowing your kids know what's going on.
Remember: Honesty brings relief