Escaping Anxiety

WOW if life isn't tough enough on it's own, the huge oil catastrophe, the NY car bomber and so on and we thought that being unemployed, having no money, health issues, were about as bad as we can get. Not sure why these terrible people continue to want to hurt Americans, the terrorism thing has always been a huge stress event in my household because it is such a scary thing to deal with. It's hard to explain to your kids the same thing and also reassure them that all will be ok. My family not only is dealing with all the world issues as well as me being unemployed again and now, my Dad having a brain tumor, which really hits way too close to home. I have been very fortunate to have not experienced these types of family situations until now. Of course my Parents are in their 70's and I guess this is to be expected. I have many friends whose Parents did not make it this long, so I feel quite blessed. My Brother is handling the brunt of the care with them as my Mom is not that well either, early stages of emphysema and I do not live close to them, I am about 800 miles from them and now having no job makes me feel quite inadequate, like I am not really able to help out. I keep my chin up and try to forge on and pray that I will get a job so that I can get to see my family again during this terribly painful event that has been thrown upon us. Trying to remain stress free and upbeat is difficult. Anxiety runs through my veins and does not allow me adequate rest, while looking for work and going to interviews, it is amazing how I force myself to get up each day to face the same set of circumstances and praying for positive results all the way around.

Remember:  Anxious times make for long days

The "Only" one

Are you ever the "only" one that has to take and pick up your own kid and his/her friends and deliver them to their destination? Well I am and have been now for sometime. It used to be that there were some other Parents that were considerate enough to help out. My Youngest Son is 16 and so close to having his drivers license, which really wouldn't make too much difference because then I will start the "new" worry when he is out on his own. Anyway, now seems that his friends Parents are never ever willing to share this huge responsibility. I have always been know as the "cool" Mom and of course I like that. This title comes with so many extra duties too. Most of these poor kids can either stay at home, have a driving friend pick them up or me pick them up. It has finally gotten to me for the last time. I try real hard to explain to these teens about making plans and communicating about how they are getting where they plan on going and they just don't get it. My Son told me today that we had a "generation gap", I laughed and said that every generation experiences that. We are very close, and now that he is a young adult going on 30 something, we tend to clash a little more about these kids of things. My Son means well and I know that the other kids do to, I am just trying to get them to respect others, like me, and think of others and not just themselves. I feel like I am the Mother to many kids most times. I just wish that the other Parents were willing to shuttle all the kids around like I do. I have had to put my foot down today, because I ran them around last night and today. Then they wanted me to do the same again tonight as their plans changed abruptly, their driver all of a sudden could not take the car out, and his Parents always do this. It is a very sad thing, but I told my Son that they could all stay in at our house tonight or they could all go home, but I was not going to chauffeur again tonight. Most of the time I give in because I know that my Son and his friends have found other ways, not always safe, of getting where they want to go and I would not be able to live with myself if anything ever happened to them because I would not take them. I wish the other Parents would feel that same guilt. At least now I have the weather on my side, since it is a chilling 39 degrees right now, brrrr......so for now they are all in our house chillin' and eating and enjoying each other's company. I know this "kodak" moment won't last long. I am sure I will have to continue to some degree of shuttling the kids around. I just hope I can convince myself to remain calm about it. Soon enough our kids will be grown and gone :)

Remember: Never quit loving your kids, no matter what.

Is there life after a job layoff?

Hello People - It has now been 2.5 weeks since I lost my job, bummer. Things look a little more scarier today than the first week. I have not been able to find work within my field, mortgage industry, just like so many others in this same field. I spend a lot of time trying to figure out what else I can do. My boys asked me the first week how we would pay for things. Of course I reassured them that things would be ok. That is so "momly" isn't it. I am taking the real estate course to become a licensed real estate agent. Something I've wanted to do for a while now. This appears to be a great time to do this since there are many homes to be sold and many more to come. I would really like to try many things that I've wanted to and hope that I can. I hear my Parents voice in my head, in a negative tone, not to do something different. Maybe I only perceive it as "negative" since I am the kid. Kids seem to view things their Parents say much differently than possibly the way it really was meant to be. So I may have taken it negatively and they didn't mean it that way. I think this is where the term "generation gap" came from. Anyway, I just may be burned out in this industry I've been in for 25 yrs. It is time to do something different. I feel I would excel and be able to earn more money. The hope and thought that we might be able to do something different to earn money to live on always brings happiness to me. We have so many opportunities and many of us never take advantage of them. I don't want to be in my 60's or 70's and wonder how I would have done if I stepped out of the box I've been in for years. I am learning how to "not" listen to the voice of my Parents in my head and go with my gut. I am a smart person and yearn for more life!

So be sure to remember: Go after all your dreams, the sooner the better