The New Year

As we embark on the celebrations of another new and great year ahead, we need to be safe help each other like we never have before. This new year brings many new events in our lives and many hopes and dreams that can and will come true. I will be starting a new and wonderful job and hopefully my life will settle down a bit so I can concentrate on moving forward in a positive way and continue to grow in a prosperous way. I feel so good about putting 2008 behind me and looking so forward to 2009. I know that if we all stick together and try to help make this crazy, crazy world a better place for our future generations we will more than amaze ourselves. I think 2009 will be about reaching for the stars and actually being able to feel like we can stand on top of them and view the world below. Everyone needs to slow down and really appreciate what life has to offer and actually enjoy ourselves. Happy New Year to everyone here and beyond!

Remember: Live today like you won't be here tomorrow

Getting wired

I have thoroughly amazed myself. I got Alex a desktop PC for Christmas and I have a laptop. Well I was stressing over what to do about having only one modem and all of us still being able to use the internet, you know we all have to stay connected. We already had a wireless router and I for the life of me was not sure I could connect all the wires and cables. Well sure enough I did! I can't believe it, I actually did it! We had so many electrical wiring, hook up issues with both the boys gifts, it's amazing that I was able to get them all up and running. It only took me 2 days, but that's the sacrifice we "Moms" are willing to take, cuz in the long run, Mom is the happiest :) So now everyone is happy and all hooked up.

Remember: Electrify your life by staying wired

Life's clock

These past 2 days have been surreal. Christmas day my Uncle went to the ER as he could not breathe and was diagnosed with lung cancer, shaking my head, then this morning my Dad called me to tell me my Mom had a small stroke in the middle of the night, frowning and shaking my head. I have not known a family member that had cancer like this and it is very frightening. I talked with him today and he is very upbeat, close to God and ready to go. He has about a year or less to live. Very freaky. He has accepted the news and he wants us all to. You know you really are never prepared for any news like this. I also talked to my Mom and she just wants to go home. She is not a good patient at all. I feel helpless, I can't just fly or drive there. I also start my new job on the 5th. So I will just pray and hope for the best. Hoping that maybe the clock will continue to tick for these 2 dear family members for as long as possible. It just makes me think about how to handle my finances for 2009 so I will hopefully be able to replenish my savings that I had to use while unemployed. When you don't have any access to funds you feel strapped, stranded, inadequate. It is true to live today like it will be your last, enjoy everyday as much as possible. I just feel like the hamster in the wheel, trying to get ahead as fast as I can. For now, I am sad, but I know I have to be strong for my Brother and Dad. So if you all out there in blogland can keep my family in your thoughts and prayers, I would appreciate it.

Remember: Don't sweat the small stuff, life's too short.

The strength within us

I am amazed at my inner emotional strength. I have always been such a strong person, and many, many times get so tired of being strong. Can't someone else do it for me? The sun has finally come out today,Hallelujah! , for the first time in 6 days!, OMG if the sun did not show itself soon , I was gonna go more crazy than I already am. So I got this great job lined up, finally, and I still have the extended "family" living with me. I have had some friends living with us since June, they have had a string of bad luck actually from bad choices which left them homeless. So I took them in for "awhile" like 3-4 mos., well that time has come. Anyway, they are waiting on social security for the husband and you know that takes a lifetime to go through. So their youngest son-19-is home from College and it is like a frickin' revolvin' door here. Kids and adults up and down all night and day. I guess we just get immune to some things. As I've said, I would rather have people living with me than me being alone. Anyway, I converted my dining room into a temp bedroom. So our space is smaller, I guess we will continue to be ok. I am just getting a little irritable on and off with all this extra turmoil and just keep praying that their $$ will come in soon so they can go their own place and I can acquire my space back, ahhh the thoughts of that just bring tears to my eyes. I have been happy to help out, but my patience is wearing thin. I know that it was a great sign from above that I did not need to go on the travel job and that is why the local job came to me, the positive energy I put out into the universe came back to me in this way. So with all that said, I am telling the universe to speed up the process of helping my friends get what they need from social security to be able to move on with their lives ASAP!

Remember: Positive energy earns positive results

When it rains it pours

"Tis the season to be jolly" is putting it mild. Hard to believe that once I was booked to travel for work here comes the local opportunities! Amazing isn't it. By the grace of God, I have been spared from traveling to the frigid cold of South Dakota. Oh dang, I was so looking forward to the adventure. Whatever. I was offered and accepted a great position that will be 10 minutes from my house, unbelievable. This is the best Christmas gift I could have received. I have been through so much just this week and still forged on as I knew it would just all be fine, that's what I had to keep telling myself and my boys. I lost my car, oh well, I have found that these creditors, VULTURES, are not willing to work anyone to keep from taking a HUGE loss, they are stupid, case in point. I have a dear friend that lived on a boat for the past 8 yrs and the economy affected their business and they too lost their home(boat) this week. If these creditors would work with us, the struggling, hardworking people they would have gotten their money back that they loaned, but instead they chose to LOSE, because they are "losers". They will be the next in line begging for a bailout. Ok enough about that dreary topic, anyway, my boys are so happy that I do not have to stress anymore about employment and traveling and missing each other. Speaking of rain, it has been raining here in the BIG ATL for the past 5 days and will continue all weekend. We still are in great need of water to help refill our lakes but will probably never catch up. So it has been gray, dreary, depressing, and somewhere between the rain clouds the "silver" lining broke through. Last night was the first night in a while that I actually got to sleep. I also wanted to say that I have the BEST blogger friends in the world. Thank you to ALL of you for all your support. Let's have a bright, happy and enjoyable weekend!

Remember: If you are feeling "blue", look to the light it will brighten your day!

Fear Not

As I prepare for Christmas and my "big" trip to SD I find myself subconsciously worrying about everything. I am afraid that while I am gone things will not work out at home like I would like them too, I am fearful of my mounting bills and how to put off the creditors for just a few weeks longer. All this worry and fear is getting in the way of my beauty rest! My brain spins while I try to sleep, kinda like the hamster in the wheel, faster and faster it goes, until I just give up, turn the TV on to try to get my mind off of all this FEAR. My friend just told me today that my young Son, Alex who is 16, told her that he did not want his Mom to worry while away, ahh isn't that sweet. That actually brought tears to my eyes, that I have obviously done something right in the raising of kids dept. He can read me and I didn't even realize that. How wonderful is that! So I do feel much better and while I was on my treadmill I told myself that everything will work out just fine, just the way it is supposed to. My fear was actually because of my great opportunity, which I am so grateful to have. We all tend to be fearful of rising to the top or taking on new responsibility or great opportunity. So we all need to just try to relax, that is hard for me sometimes, and just go with the moment, enjoy and breath....... No more fear here.

Remember: Don't be afraid of the fearful side of life.

Working again

YEAH !!! I am going to South Dakota for a contract traveling job. I leave 12-28-08. I knew my prayers would be answered sooner than later. I have never been to SD, it will be a great adventure though. My boys are happy that I can once again bring income into the house. It truly will be a wonderful Christmas for us all. I just found out a little while ago and had to share this fabulous news with my blogging family! For all of you who have had me in their thoughts and prayers, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!

Remember: Believe and you will receive

Weird and Odd

As I sit here in my "night clothes" as my oldest Son calls them, he's 24 and just got home from his night job at Target, he talks about how "weird and odd" things are. I said, " You know most of our days are weird and odd". For example, my boys are learning now about "Casper" you know the one who takes things in your home and NO ONE will fess up to it, Yea that one. Well, this weekend something of my younger Son's went missing and he knew his brother had to have taken or moved it, and it certainly wasn't me, so I said, "Well maybe Buddy or Tiger took it" ( dog and cat), he didn't think that was too funny. I told him how "Casper" had lived with us now for about 20 yrs or so, he moves with us. Our daily lives are filled with weird and odd moments that we sit and ponder and wonder about. Some of them we can fix or change and others we just have to let them be. So this weekend I started on all my Christmas decorating, I also forced myself to have a small Christmas social on the 20th. I finally feel like I am climbing up out of the abyss I have been in for several years now and how "weird and odd" for me to feel so happy and joyful when I do not have any income coming in and could lose my home and car and everything, hmm....this is where I am supposed to be anxious, stressed, crying, upset but I am not. As I have said before, I have put my situation in the hands of a higher power and I know that everything will work out just fine. I am having this party to visit with old friends and most of them are unemployed like me and we all need this to be able to laugh, which is very healthy and have a good time. This weekend I also started my recipe book, baked and cooked homemade items till my heart was content and the house is filled with happiness. So now I am under the gun to get my house in order and very christmassy, so I am off to get a shower and out of my "night clothes" and get decorating.

Remember: Experience life to the fullest, regardless of your situation

The Past

For several days now I have been frantically trying to reconnect with someone from my past, my first "real" love. I moved a lot in my teen years due to my Dad's job and I was not too happy about it. I ended up going to 3 high schools and that really upset me. When I was told we had to move AGAIN from Appleton, Wisconsin to Memphis, TN in my Junior year, I was a very miserable teen to live with. I persecuted my Parents for like15 yrs, amazing isn't it. I have gotten over it now, LOL. I had this great community of friends and a wonderful boyfriend. We were "pre-engaged", he gave me a ring with a little sand chip of a diamond, but it sure was special. Then my Parents so delicately had to break the news of the next move. Of course I was not moving. Ultimately, I did as they bribed me with anything I wanted in my room. They took my Bother and I on the house hunting trip, woo hoo! So another miserable move happened against my own free will. So my boyfriend and I stayed in touch, I hated Memphis and had zero friends. He came to visit me and I went up there and then he was so distraught that I was gone, he decided to join the service to pass the time while I was finishing high school. He came to visit on one of his leaves and presented a beautiful, wonderful large marquee cut diamond engagement ring. I was in shock and excited. I was very hesitant though that he was so far away from me, Japan, and I was not sure this long distance relationship would work. That has been one of my biggest flaws, I think way too much and over analyze every situation. One thing led to another and I broke it off. It was very difficult and we were both devastated. Well, all through these years I have always thought of him and at different times I have tried like mad to locate him. I am hoping to be able to talk to him and just maybe apologize for my youthful stupidity. It is so hard when you are 17 yrs old and everyone is telling you what to do and your heart does not really agree with any of them. I am not sure how I will find him or contact him, if I do. I have found a phone number and address that could possibly be his, but of course I am too scared to call as I don't want to disrupt his household. So I think about this day and night, I am obsessed with how to reach him. It makes me think of what my life would have been like if I would have stayed with him, as most of us do. I never like to regret the past because we aren't born with a "Life" manual that has a HELP center to contact when we just aren't sure of our decisions. It would be nice. I know that I have so much ahead of me and I just feel that if I could just talk to him again I might be able to move forward better.

Remember: Don't let the past get in the way of your future.

Stayin' pumped

Hello Friends- I know it has been over a week since I last wrote. I kind of got caught up doing so many other things. I found myself trying to get depressed and I just don't do that very well. I know so many people that can do it on command. If I don't talk to myself everyday about staying positive or knowing exactly the things I need to do that day then I will tend to fall toward the edge of the canyon. I managed to have a wonderful Thanksgiving, I cooked for 9 people and had a friend and her daughter from our "old" company that was kind to lay us off. So we all thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and everyone was happy and full. I sure hope all of you enjoyed your special family day too. I would have loved having my Parents and Brother with us, but that just was not in the cards this year. Basically I just really enjoy having people around me, it really helps be the accelerator to a happier life on a day to day basis. Now since I am on a "forced" sabbatical for an undetermined time frame, it is so important for me to try to find as many people to be around. Of course my 16 yr old Son keeps me pretty busy, he had another little tiny run in with the local law on Sunday night, it is just so hard to let them out of your sight for fear of any number of things that can happen. He is really a good kid and is trying to figure life and himself out, so I try to also keep him jazzed about what he can do with his young life. Being his Mom, of course I am a few minutes older than him and really don't know much about life either. At least he keeps me on my toes. So now my thoughts are on the next holiday, getting a tree up and lights outside. It has been so icky, rainy, snowy and brrrrr here that I'd like to just get back in my bed, throw the covers over my head till Spring. Since I can't do that I will just move onto my next task for the day. So stay warm and, like me, try to stay pumped!

Remember: There is life beyond the covers

The "Only" one

Are you ever the "only" one that has to take and pick up your own kid and his/her friends and deliver them to their destination? Well I am and have been now for sometime. It used to be that there were some other Parents that were considerate enough to help out. My Youngest Son is 16 and so close to having his drivers license, which really wouldn't make too much difference because then I will start the "new" worry when he is out on his own. Anyway, now seems that his friends Parents are never ever willing to share this huge responsibility. I have always been know as the "cool" Mom and of course I like that. This title comes with so many extra duties too. Most of these poor kids can either stay at home, have a driving friend pick them up or me pick them up. It has finally gotten to me for the last time. I try real hard to explain to these teens about making plans and communicating about how they are getting where they plan on going and they just don't get it. My Son told me today that we had a "generation gap", I laughed and said that every generation experiences that. We are very close, and now that he is a young adult going on 30 something, we tend to clash a little more about these kids of things. My Son means well and I know that the other kids do to, I am just trying to get them to respect others, like me, and think of others and not just themselves. I feel like I am the Mother to many kids most times. I just wish that the other Parents were willing to shuttle all the kids around like I do. I have had to put my foot down today, because I ran them around last night and today. Then they wanted me to do the same again tonight as their plans changed abruptly, their driver all of a sudden could not take the car out, and his Parents always do this. It is a very sad thing, but I told my Son that they could all stay in at our house tonight or they could all go home, but I was not going to chauffeur again tonight. Most of the time I give in because I know that my Son and his friends have found other ways, not always safe, of getting where they want to go and I would not be able to live with myself if anything ever happened to them because I would not take them. I wish the other Parents would feel that same guilt. At least now I have the weather on my side, since it is a chilling 39 degrees right now, brrrr......so for now they are all in our house chillin' and eating and enjoying each other's company. I know this "kodak" moment won't last long. I am sure I will have to continue to some degree of shuttling the kids around. I just hope I can convince myself to remain calm about it. Soon enough our kids will be grown and gone :)

Remember: Never quit loving your kids, no matter what.

Thanksgiving

It is hard to believe that another traditional family gathering is just around the corner. Since my circumstances changed abruptly for me this year I was not sure I was going to cook the "greatest" meal of the year. Thanksgiving is and always has been my favorite holiday. I am a true traditionalist and surprisingly so I have been able to pass that onto my boys. Anyway, my Parents came to our house last year from Bella Vista, AR. That was the first visit to see us since we moved to GA, in May 2003. Of course it was great, we always went to them. Well they were going to return again this year, well that did not work out either. So I had planned to cook, I really enjoy that anyway. Well I have a friend that thought one of her older boys were going to host the great eating fest at one of their "new" homes. Doesn't look hopeful. This is a week before and she has not heard from them. I decided that I am going to have the fabulous feast at my home. Turns out my youngest Son's girlfriend and another friend of his will not be enjoying the turkey holiday with their families. Come on, the girlfriend's Mother doesn't cook so she and the girlfriend's younger brother will be going to a movie and eating out! WHAT??? The friend has to work and his family is going to be with their extended family in VA! Come on people, this is a holiday for families and friends to come together to spend time with and enjoy a wonderful feast and remember what we have to be "thankful" for. So as usual, I will have these extra guests. I thoroughly enjoy having a lot of people to cook for. I certainly will not allow for kids to just not have anyone to share this special time with. If I could, I would open up my home to everyone and anyone. Sure I still don't have a job, but I have figured out how to make things work out and not worry about it. I know that my families situation is in the hands of a higher power and we will be just fine. So if you think that you are not able to or can't have a great Thanksgiving celebration, then you need to talk to me, because you can!

Remember: Be thankful for ALL that you have!

Energy

Where do you get your energy from? Most people are so concerned for me since I am jobless and rightfully so. However, I feel more energized now than when I was going into my job day to day. I have seen a major change in my whole attitude about everything. Yes, I do not have a job, bu emotionally and physically I feel the best I have ever had. I just feel this great new found energy and it all has to do with the "freedom" to do what I want and be happy about it all for a change. I know I need to stay energized in order to continue to move forward with all my dreams and ideas. I have always been an idea person and never had the time to really focus on any of them. I'm sure that you too have had ideas and have felt the same way. I know I will accomplish what I have set out to do. You can't do everything all at the same time. We have to do what we can, while staying jazzed, one step at a time. It will all come together sooner than later. Staying energized and jazzed are easy to do as long as you tell yourself " I can do this." Just like the little engine that could, "I think I can, I think I can." Of course you can. Our minds are very strong and easily swayed. That's why it is always important to tell yourself positive things everyday and feel the energy. If you need to take a walk or a drive or something to find your energy, do it today. No matter what anyone else tells you, listen to yourself. Only you know exactly what you are capable of.

Remember: Today is the day!

Opportunities

I have never really forced myself to realize just how many great and wonderful opportunities await each and every one of us until now. I have always worked my job took care of my boys and our household and went to bed, got up the next day to do it all over again. There is way more to life than just the day to day routines and we all need to wake up and find them. I was always lead to believe that I should be more cautious and not take risks and that is true for some things but many others I have found that I need to come out of my "comfort" zone and discover all the areas I can benefit from. So this is what I am doing now, full speed head. I lost my job in an industry that I have been in for 25 yrs and struggled most of the time and now I am doing so many different things. I have "come out of my shell" so to speak. I invested in becoming a real estate agent, because I know my vast experience in the mortgage industry will help me and I am sure you could expand on any of your experience to find a great opportunity as well. I am tired of sitting in an office all day. It is time for me to get out there and really find myself, because I lost myself about 7 years ago. I have had a difficult time coming back and I am now strong enough and determined enough to do everything that I can get my hands on. So I know that there are many other people out there that may feel the same as me and may be depressed or unhappy or unmotivated to think that they can not do anything good for themselves and I am here to tell you that YOU CAN! I am here to help you see that and help you find that. If you have any kind of issues that are blocking you from your opportunities, please let me know and I will and can help you figure them out. I feel that all my life's experiences and my career experiences will help many people just like me. So write me and let me help out!

Remember: You can do anything you want and be anything you want only if you try.

A "Real" friend

What is a "real" friend? I guess I am too laid back and easy going. I am usually very reserved when I meet new people. You have to kind of store your thoughts about them to be used at a later date. It's crushing when you put all your time and efforts in what you believe is a true friend to find out you have know a "FAKE". That hurts! You know they say you really know some one when you live with them. Wrong.......been there, done that. I am not really sure if we ever know that we can ever trust someone or know they are really a friend to us. We just have to go with the flow, day by day and just try to be trusting until the "friend" gives you a reason to think otherwise. I think friends are overrated anyway. It would be nice to have more like many people I know. I guess I am just not supposed to have many or 2 or 3. I don't know. So I will just try to work on myself and more "real friends" will come my way someday.

Remember: Don't throw stones at glass houses

Survival

Isn't it funny how stress gets to us and sometimes we don't even realize it. Of course my back is on the fritz, has been for 3 days now. I have to mend myself and it is difficult when there is not much help in my household. My boys will do something for me if I beg and plead with them. At night when I am supposed to be sleeping, my mind just races and worries about money, a job and how I will survive. Then I don't get much sleep and I'm sure you can figure the end result. I have survived other detriments to my financial picture and managed to rise above it all. It's just now it seems much more severe. I don't have a spouse or boyfriend to lean on and it sure would be nice to have that special someone to lean on. Wouldn't it be great if we could all ban together to help each other? After all that 's all we really have is each other. So today I will try to do some positive things and help reduce my stress and look for the good things in this day.

Remember: It is what it is

The grim job search

Isn't it funny how you may find a prospective employer that has an immediate need to fill a position and it takes forever to hear back from them? Today's times are the worst I've ever experienced. Finding gainful employment seems very dismal at this point. I try to stay positive and all that, but I still continue, secretly, to worry about my not too distant future. It seems that right now a decent paying job is not to be found. There are so many people like me that are also doing the same thing. It would be great if our very own gov't would help us out. There is too much bureaucracy within our country which therefore hurts the little people like us. We should be able to access unemployment much quicker and receive more than what the max is-$330. a week. Not too many people can live on that. That's $1430. a month. WOW ! I was against the Wall Street bailout like many of you, and yet our "loyal" Senate and House reps were forced to vote for it. The "working" people of this Country need the bailout help long before the corps of Wall Street! Those CEO's and other higher ups that received so many millions with their jobs certainly don't have to worry about whether or not they can feed their families or pay their monthly living expenses, while the "little" like us that have worked long, hard hours get the "shaft". Regardless of "who" will be our next President, they will be walking into a big giant mess and will take almost the 4 yrs to get back on track. In the meantime while we struggle to get back on track now.
Ok I guess that is enough ranting and raving by me. I would like to hear from any of you about this and how your life experience is going during these rough and bleak times.

Always remember: Never give up!

Is there life after a job layoff?

Hello People - It has now been 2.5 weeks since I lost my job, bummer. Things look a little more scarier today than the first week. I have not been able to find work within my field, mortgage industry, just like so many others in this same field. I spend a lot of time trying to figure out what else I can do. My boys asked me the first week how we would pay for things. Of course I reassured them that things would be ok. That is so "momly" isn't it. I am taking the real estate course to become a licensed real estate agent. Something I've wanted to do for a while now. This appears to be a great time to do this since there are many homes to be sold and many more to come. I would really like to try many things that I've wanted to and hope that I can. I hear my Parents voice in my head, in a negative tone, not to do something different. Maybe I only perceive it as "negative" since I am the kid. Kids seem to view things their Parents say much differently than possibly the way it really was meant to be. So I may have taken it negatively and they didn't mean it that way. I think this is where the term "generation gap" came from. Anyway, I just may be burned out in this industry I've been in for 25 yrs. It is time to do something different. I feel I would excel and be able to earn more money. The hope and thought that we might be able to do something different to earn money to live on always brings happiness to me. We have so many opportunities and many of us never take advantage of them. I don't want to be in my 60's or 70's and wonder how I would have done if I stepped out of the box I've been in for years. I am learning how to "not" listen to the voice of my Parents in my head and go with my gut. I am a smart person and yearn for more life!

So be sure to remember: Go after all your dreams, the sooner the better

Kids and Credit

You know as Parents today we really need to be teaching our kids more about what to do with money earned, like saving it or investing it or at least spending it wisely. There are way too many Parents that give and give and give to their kids and there is no lesson to be learned. Then when they become young adults they don't really know how to manage their finances, let alone know what the meaning of finances are. I've tried the allowance thing the reward for doing a job or chore and these have not made an impact on my boys at all. My oldest works full time now and he has finally gotten the hang of "how" to manage his money for the first time ever, he is only 23 but I feel accomplished in this area since I had a lot to do with it. My younger Son just does not have the drive, he will be 16 on Valentines Day, to work to earn the money the regular way. He likes more odd type jobs and not a whole lot of work. Which confuses me since he has watched me struggle to take care of he and his Brother I figured he'd be more like, "hey, I wanna get out in the world and make a difference." He seems to be somewhat confused anyway about his purpose in life, aren't most teens? So I try everyday to show him how money can be earned and spent and why it is important to save.
Someday I hope they both will be on their own and enjoying what life has to offer.

Remember: Follow your dreams and be all you can be

Cleanse for life

Ahh it is now a "new" year and we are able to make positive changes for ourselves. Have you ever looked around your house to realize just how much stuff you have accumulated and you don't ever use? That's what I have been doing now for several weeks. You don't really see it. I have found out that I can sell my stuff in the various ways we have now and earn a few bucks and rid, "cleanse" my house, my "space" for a more Feng Shui feel. Now you don't have to sell your stuff, you can donate to many charities or give to someone who can use. However it is a great way to put a little extra cash in your hands and you learn a lot of new experiences. So try it, look around your garage, closets are a great hiding place for stuff, drawers, kids rooms, attics, basements, you will surprise and amaze yourself.
Please email with any questions, ideas or comments. I am always open to them. So get busy and make some change, literally.

Remember:
Change is good