Hello people, it has been so long since I have checked in. Sorry for that, I have been in "survival" mode and that takes a lot of time consuming concentration. Being back at work like a "real" person again has been so great! I have managed to help my bleak financial situation out and in the interim have had to be very straight forward and honest with my boys and I had to tell them exactly what was happening and that it would all work out. We have had to run on just a few dollars till the next payday and figure out meals and gas money and sports functions and school and you know LIFE things. It has been a long and rough road but I have always believed that you should level with your kids, especially when they are old enough to know. Kids can sense when things aren't going well, we Parents, well I don't, hide it real well. I have tried and then I thought, "hey, I am a single Mom and I have taken them through the good, the bad and the ugly, so what the heck". They have been more at ease just because I told them exactly how it was and how it would be and that "they" needed to help out as much as possible. Some Parents think that you shouldn't tell your kids the truth about what's going on in the family, my Parents did that with my Brother and I and as we grew older we had to tell them we didn't like that. I am sure they had their reasons and probably thought it best. Don't keep your kids in the dark, they can handle a lot more than you think. It keeps you grounded in a dysfunctional way, scrambling here and there, but you can feel better knowing your kids know what's going on.
Remember: Honesty brings relief
3 comments:
Oh I totally agree with you Cathy. I'm unable to hide how I'm feeling or when something is wrong too. And it's only fair to kids to be included I think. It's a scary enough world already without surprises like we're out of money hitting you in the face. I think you do a great job with your kids!
I 100% agree with you. You should absolutely keep your older kids informed. They are old enough to know certain things and like you said, they can sense it anyway. Your right there is a sense of relief when you keep them informed and updated on family issues. I'm sure they appreciate it as well. I'm glad to hear that things are starting to get a little better for you. Take care. =)
We waited two months to tell the kids my husband had lost his job. We told them when he got a new one. Not telling them was really hard for me, but my husband really didn't want them to worry about potentially having to move (they're in middle and high school). It worked out fine; he has a job now, but the kids have been doing their parts to help watch our money (giving up things they might have asked for previously). I'm with you :)
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