The "REAL" Roller Coaster - "LIFE"

Negative Energy

2011-02-21T19:01:00.000-05:00

Are you surrounded by negative people? I'm sure most of you have at least one that comes to mind. I sure do and I am about fed up with it too. All these "nay sayers" should live on their own island, maybe then they would be happy. When we engage with nagative attitudes it tends to change our outlook to more negative than positive. This is not a healthy way of living. I always make a point to waking up thankful that I did wake up, be happy for all the wonderful things I have in my life, although they may not be a lot to some, but to me they are a bounty. I have to remind myself of this too each day. Thinking positive is just a better way of looking at life and all the bumps that come along the way. Negativity does bring any good feelings to any situation. Positivity makes you feel better, therefore making you more productive in everything you do. We will always run up against roadblocks and will always find a way through them because thinking positive also opens up the pathway to a solution. A smile is absolutley positive and takes less muscles to use, while a frown, which breeds negative feelings also makes us feel cold and unchanged. Negative people spin their wheels whining and complaining about something when they could bring positive change to their dilemma.

Remember: Don't waste others time by breathing negative, smile because you can.

Share yourself

2011-01-08T12:11:00.001-05:00

I am sort of at a cross roads in my life and not sure how to proceed. I have many great goals in mind for this fresh new year. My biggest block is that I do not have a significant other or any "real" friends locally that I can share with, ask for advice, bounce ideas off of or just talk to. Many days I feel trapped and somewhat depressed and eventually am able to help myself work through these uncomfortable feelings. As I want to be a coach to many on various topics, it would be nice if I had my own coach to help me through all these tough issues. I have a hard time with this, but I still forge on because I know I can achieve what I am thinking of, it's just difficult as I have only myself to talk to about these things. I wish I could have more friends like I did many years ago when I lived in Memphis. Now those were some great times and I know I can have that again, just have lost my way. I know that 2010 was the most extremely painful year I have experienced in, well forever and this has attributed to all these self worthlessness that I feel a lot. Friends where I live are very difficult to keep as they are so committed to their own lives and I guess don't need another friend or any at all. I may need to relocate to another City, just not real sure I really want to do that. I do know that I need to join a club or a group or something to hopefully be involved enough to make some new relationships that will last. I would normally discuss all of these things with my Dad, but can't anymore, only through prayers and that is hard too. I am a very giving person and just need to find the same in others that I can call my "FRIENDS". So onward I go to work on making all the plans and goals I have be achieved and hopefully find a friend or 2 along the way.

Remember: Follow through.

Fresh Attitude

2010-12-30T22:39:00.000-05:00

Hello Friends!
Well the time is here and has gone by very quickly since I last visited. I finally got a job in my field and am able to work from home and have been now for 3 mos. It has been a great opportunity for me and my boys since the passing of my Dad in July. I have been able to mourn and heal all in the comfort and privacy of my home. I am so grateful to my Mom who graciously helped me save my home from auction next week. She didn't know I needed the help and I didn't want to burden her with my issues during the loss of her 54 yr companion and one true love.
So anyway, I am so looking forward to 2011 for all the great new possibilities that can help me change the direction I am going in. This year has been very rough, I did not realize that I had 6 jobs this year ! OMG I cannot believe that. I am looking to find some real friends and be able to go do fun things like I used to. It has been way too long.
This is short, but a start, I really miss blogging and interacting with everyone. I am going to try to push myself back into it. I used to write every other day and then LIFE happened once again. I am thankful that we are able to fall and then pick ourselves up again. Yes it is very hard sometimes, but I am going to stay strong and positive.
Take care everyone and Happy New Year's to you all!

Remember: Thinking positive will bring positive results to your life!

Family Loss

2010-07-31T18:24:00.001-04:00

Do you really think you can get over losing a Parent? I am not sure myself. I am having a very difficult time with this. My Dad died July 3rd, 2010, 4 weeks ago today. It seems a lifetime ago while at the same time so surreal that I can't believe it yet. I don't live close like my Brother, but I was very close to my Dad. My Brother took care of him during this horrible journey. We all thought he would live as long as his Mother, 91, he didn't, he was 72. My Dad was a very healthy person. Turns out he had a brain tumor brewing, that was diagnosed officially in Feb. 2010. It happens to have been the same tumor that senator Ted Kennedy had and died from. It is a nasty thing and my Dad fought long and hard and the tumor won. It's just not fair at all. My Dad was so full of life, always had a positive impact on people and mentored many. I know he is in a better place and with his Mom and Brother, who died last July and My Grandma died July of 2006. Not sure what the "July" thing is all about, but it is kinda freaky. My Brother and cousin, both have birthdays in July and both their Dad's died a year apart. I still feel numb and was trying to make it there before his last breathe, but I didn't. I was in the air when he died. My Brother goes to visit him at the cemetery every morning and night, he said he can't help it and wished he lived further so he didn't do that, it makes him sad. I went once 3 days after he was buried and thought it would help, it really didn't. My Mom really thought she'd go first, her health is not very good at all. Not sure how to keep it going everyday. I felt so lucky to be my age and still have both of my Parents alive and now I am lost. My Dad is who I went to for all kinds of advice and knowledge about so many things. He just had to go and leave all of us to try to help ourselves better and make us stronger. I dont' want to be stronger, I truly get tired of being strong, I need someone to lean on now and then. As the weeks go by I am trying to figure it all out. I just never imagined this feeling. I don't know that time will heal my loss. I think no matter how long it's been, the pain is still there, just suppressed. I am glad that both my boys still live with me for company. I really need to find some things to do besides work. I am so happy to finally have gotten another job again. My Dad was very happy when I got this great job, I just wish like hell that I could have seen him alive one more time. I guess it was not meant for me to.
Take care everyone and don't hold grudges or get mad easily or be too hard on your kids or loved ones, you just never know what will happen from day to day.

Remember: Don't ever forget your memories, they will get you through.

Who's your rock???

2010-06-20T18:07:00.000-04:00

Today is Father's Day. I hope all the Dad's out there had a very unique day and that everyone out there was able to reminisce, visit or talk to their Dad's. I am thankful that I still have my Dad here. I talked to him this morning and he is so excited that the boys and I will be there in 2 weeks. It will not be our usual 4th of July spectacular, but all great things fizzle out sooner or later. He said he can't wait till I get there so I can make him some of my world famous macaroni salad with black olives and chunks of sharp cheese, it brought tears to my eyes. We will at least be able to go out on the boat and see other lake spectacular fireworks and enjoy them. I am back to work again, YEAH, I hope for awhile, but for now it is a steady, regular paycheck. Now I am working towards making things in my life more regular. I have struggled for so long, I feel as if I have become immune to the feeling. I am very grateful for managing to save my home from foreclosure. I feel as if I have climbed Mt Everest! Oh what a feeling! I have only had myself to be my own "rock" and that is tough most times. I would love nothing more than to have someone in my life to share life with again. It's nice sometimes to be able to talk about life stresses and ups and downs with someone else. As I have said previously, I am a very strong person and sometimes I get tired of being strong. I need to find a "rock" for me. As I learn to relax more and do some things for me, taking one day at a time, I know I will find everything and more that I am looking for and need. I do have such a sense of freedom now and pray it will continue. Still working on getting myself out there more is also a chore. I miss the days in my past when I had friends and neighbors come over and we'd cook out, kids would play together, we'd have cocktails, good food and great company. These days that seems harder to find, well in my neighborhood. So I am on a mission to finds some new friends to do just that. Until next time......all have a great week!

Remember: Our inner strength is more than one can imagine, use it.

Escaping Anxiety

2010-05-04T16:29:00.002-04:00

WOW if life isn't tough enough on it's own, the huge oil catastrophe, the NY car bomber and so on and we thought that being unemployed, having no money, health issues, were about as bad as we can get. Not sure why these terrible people continue to want to hurt Americans, the terrorism thing has always been a huge stress event in my household because it is such a scary thing to deal with. It's hard to explain to your kids the same thing and also reassure them that all will be ok. My family not only is dealing with all the world issues as well as me being unemployed again and now, my Dad having a brain tumor, which really hits way too close to home. I have been very fortunate to have not experienced these types of family situations until now. Of course my Parents are in their 70's and I guess this is to be expected. I have many friends whose Parents did not make it this long, so I feel quite blessed. My Brother is handling the brunt of the care with them as my Mom is not that well either, early stages of emphysema and I do not live close to them, I am about 800 miles from them and now having no job makes me feel quite inadequate, like I am not really able to help out. I keep my chin up and try to forge on and pray that I will get a job so that I can get to see my family again during this terribly painful event that has been thrown upon us. Trying to remain stress free and upbeat is difficult. Anxiety runs through my veins and does not allow me adequate rest, while looking for work and going to interviews, it is amazing how I force myself to get up each day to face the same set of circumstances and praying for positive results all the way around.

Remember: Anxious times make for long days

Reaching out for HELP !!!!

2010-04-27T12:38:00.003-04:00

Hello Everyone - It has been a rough past 30 days since I wrote my last post and I am still without work! My previous employer is fighting me on paying unemployment so we are really "drowning" here and I feel so much anxiety that I don't sleep at night. I have even reached out to my Church and have not been successful in getting any response from them, hmmm...I might need to find a better Church family, I thought that is really who you could count on, apparently not. I also ran across some "celeb" news, that Stephen Baldwin, actor and "born again christian", who is in such bad financial crisis has a website, setup by his Church followers to help raise money to "save" him, WHAT.....??? Give me a break !!!! He has so many more resources than any of us regular, hardworking, people do and they expect "us" to give money to his cause when we don't even have enough for ourselves!!!
So with that said I would like to see if there are any of you out there that plan to give money to Stephen Baldwin's cause, if you would give those few dollars to me and my family instead. I have always known that "we" are a giving species and I have given and given for many, many years, and will continue to, to people in need just like I am now and I would like to think that there are people like me that would help me out in my crisis. If you feel generous enough to send me money to help me try to keep my house, my utilities on and gas in my car, I would be forever grateful. I have gotten as much money from my Parents as possible as my Dad has just undergone brain surgery 2 weeks ago today, to remove part of a tumor, called Glioma, and there is still another smaller part to this that he has to find out what the next course of action is going to be next week, so between their help and his massive medical bills now, I cannot expect them to be able to help me anymore and I know my Dad is very worried, which is not good for his brain and I feel bad that I cannot be there to help, anyway, my point is that I am doing everything I can, I have even applied for food stamps, hey, I am not too proud to admit when I am down and need some help. I have always been the "strong" one and I guess now it is my turn to learn to lean on others.
IF you can and would like to help me and my family, please email me for information on how to do that, ANY amount will help and I want to Thank You all now. You will not be forgotten! Email to: rquartz28@netscape.net

Remember: It is better to GIVE than RECEIVE, when you give you will receive *** just don't GIVE to the "famous actor" who lives better than all of us :)

Time for a change

2010-03-27T12:58:00.003-04:00

Hello everyone ! Once again I am without a job, oh my. So I have been taking this time to rediscover myself and really try to make any one of my entrepreneurial adventures work. I've also discovered that people today are more into hurting you than helping you and it should not be like this. If anything we should be more of a "helping" people because I am sure that we all need some kind of help in one way or another. I am actually very glad not to be working in an office, corporate setting anymore, my stress level is way down and the freedom to roam at anytime of the day or night is the best feeling. I just gotta find a way to earn enough money to live on. Times are still tough and going to continue for awhile, so I must persevere and continue to look for the "open" doors that are out there for me, maybe I need some "special" glasses to see them LOL. Ok this is short and sweet and I am gonna try to come back here more often like the "good ole" days !

Remember: The time to change is now, just like the seasons

Youthful Times

2009-12-01T22:06:00.003-05:00

I think we as a "people" have forced ourselves to forget how wonderful times were when we were younger. If we would incorporate things we did in our younger days we would all be much happier. I was thinking hard about this when I heard someone say "I'm too old to do that". Now I have always believed that "You are as young as you feel" quote is so true. Your birthday year is only a number on your birth certificate. Just because you are 30,40,50 or 60,etc; does not mean you have to "act" like what the number perceives you should be. I know I look youthful, not my true age, and act youthful because I still enjoy those simple childhood pleasures. I also believe that you are never too old to finish something you started, regardless of what your friends or family might say, I say "GO FOR IT" Chasing our dreams and endeavors is what keeps us young and our minds alive. That is what LIFE is all about. I sure don't want to look forward to a life of sitting around doing nothing, I want to fly by the seat of my pants just as I have and live on the edge, push the envelope and go for the gusto. So make a goal to do something you used to enjoy when you were a kid, you just may surprise yourself!

Remember: Live Life YOUTHFUL

Power to YOU!

2009-11-28T21:01:00.006-05:00

Hello Friends !! I have surfaced once again, I have missed my blogging family and am sorry I have been gone so long. I finally got the "people" out of my house July 18th and it was not an easy task to do. Things did get a little heated, which I did not want, but I got to see just how two faced and ungrateful they were. What a "cleansing" feeling it was to be in my own house without the burden of "haters". So in these past 4 mos I have been finding my way around my house again again and finding "ME" again. I have really surprised myself once again. I am still working, YEA!!!, and I have reconnected with a great and wonderful friend also in the mortgage biz and has struggled like me and now we are forging through LIFE together, using the knowledge we both have to become successful in our endeavors. I am finally doing something that I know and have wanted to do for many years. You know I am just a regular person that has a dream to make it BIG in this world, make an impact on others lives and help as many people as I can, I'm not a celebrity, star, great athlete or someone that is seen in the media. I want to write a book too and become well known, but I'm not a "star", therefore achieving this goal will be a little more of a challenge for "plain" me. I was thinking of this a few days ago when I saw, once again, the ads for Sarah Palin and her book and her tour bus, and I thought "hmmm... wonder if I can get a book published, could I also get on TV to push my book, my ideas, my goals in life?? It's an interesting thought and I said "YES" I can!!! We get out of life exactly what we put into it. Read that again and let it really sink in. I have, I woke up this morning with this exuberant feeling of being able to do anything and everything that I have ever wanted to do and I am going to do it, period. I have always started something great then let it sit and sit and then just get forgotten, not anymore. I have risen up from the ashes of doom and gloom and am going to publish the things I have written, help the people that I know need it and make life a little bit better for me, my family and others alike. I am not afraid to jump right in, both feet planted and be noticed. I was once before and I will become that "star" to shine for everyone to see.

Remember: Empower yourself to do what you know

Sweating the small stuff

2009-04-26T11:45:00.003-04:00

I have come to realize, once again, how wonderful life is. I have been through so much, just like everyone else and usually allowed the smallest things to make me stress out. I have recently been allowed to work my job from home and let me tell you, this is the best time of my life right now! Of course I think it would be challenging if I had younger children. Since my oldest moved out and my youngest is very mobile and my friends that live me are not in my way I have set my little office up in my room and I get to look out my windows into my great wooded, aviary like yard and am so pleased with this change that I don't have any "small stuff" to sweat anymore. I am no able to think a lot clearer and am able to get back to all the great things I started last Fall when I lost my last job because I have more "free" time to do it in. No traffic hassles for me anymore. My stress level has dropped and my happiness meter has exploded! My creative juices are flowing freely again and I am going to get my food business off the ground once and for all. With the special time here at home I have come to appreciate my own land space that much more. Too many of us are still wound way tight, want things way too fast and do not stop to "smell the roses". I have been and still am beaming!

Remember: You have more resources than you think

Pressure

2009-03-14T12:01:00.003-04:00

Don't you ever wonder WHY you make yourself feel guilty about something you did or didn't do or said or didn't say? I always put so much extra pressure on myself, like I really need it, and then I have to talk to myself and try to think out the situation. We humans are very complicated. I always feel like I must justify why I said something or told someone I would go somewhere and then changed my mind. You know sometimes I just need to wind down and have some time to myself. I'm sure most people are like this. My nature is to try to make time for everyone and I really can't sometimes. I find that on the weekends, especially if I don't have anything pressing, I NEED to take some "veg" time just for ME. Watch some non-thinking shows on TV or some of my shows I've recorded. I think we are all entitled to this and then we feel that we should make our "free", no stress time counter productive by trying to have an anxiety attack over trying to appease someone because, as humans, we simply changed our mind. It seems if I put more and more pressure on myself it takes me down to the core of the earth and that is not a good place to be. So today I am forcing myself to feel "free and open" and enjoy my choices, even the ones I've changed, and not feel bad about it. I almost feel like I'm doing something bad...anyway Alex started a job, he is so excited about and Will has now been in his first apt now for about 2 mos. WOW, I am really gonna have to work on myself to get used to all these great changes. I will eventually have more and more time to myself. It is raining and very chilly today, so I am gonna go relax and breathe freely. I hope you all have a fabulous weekend and enjoy YOUR time.

Remember: You are in charge of yourself

Tell it like it is

2009-03-08T14:01:00.006-04:00

Hello people, it has been so long since I have checked in. Sorry for that, I have been in "survival" mode and that takes a lot of time consuming concentration. Being back at work like a "real" person again has been so great! I have managed to help my bleak financial situation out and in the interim have had to be very straight forward and honest with my boys and I had to tell them exactly what was happening and that it would all work out. We have had to run on just a few dollars till the next payday and figure out meals and gas money and sports functions and school and you know LIFE things. It has been a long and rough road but I have always believed that you should level with your kids, especially when they are old enough to know. Kids can sense when things aren't going well, we Parents, well I don't, hide it real well. I have tried and then I thought, "hey, I am a single Mom and I have taken them through the good, the bad and the ugly, so what the heck". They have been more at ease just because I told them exactly how it was and how it would be and that "they" needed to help out as much as possible. Some Parents think that you shouldn't tell your kids the truth about what's going on in the family, my Parents did that with my Brother and I and as we grew older we had to tell them we didn't like that. I am sure they had their reasons and probably thought it best. Don't keep your kids in the dark, they can handle a lot more than you think. It keeps you grounded in a dysfunctional way, scrambling here and there, but you can feel better knowing your kids know what's going on.

Remember: Honesty brings relief

Timing

2009-02-06T21:40:00.003-05:00

You know I truly believe that everything does happen for a reason and that if you do for others good things will come your way. Patience was also something that I have had to force on myself. I have always been a pretty patient person, I thought, but I needed more patience. I have groomed myself over the past coupe of yrs to be more and more patient, which has taught me that timing is everything and it seems to all be paying off. I wonder why we can't learn all of this stuff when we are much younger? We do, we just don't listen or believe it. Things are really falling into place now and I actually can say that I am not afraid to be happy now. I used to think if I felt too happy something bad would happen and spoil everything. So over the years I have become more of a optimistic person. I always see the "glass half FULL". I wake up positive and happy, greet people and am the "light" in any room. I find that my days are filled with more happiness than doom because of my thinking and timing. I don't get stressed if things don't go my way or complain, I can't stand complainers by the way. I believe, you buck up, get over it and be HAPPY!. Timing is everything, so do for others and in time the goodness will come back to you.

Remember: What goes around, comes back around

A sign of the times

2009-02-01T21:35:00.002-05:00

Hello Friends, it has been awhile since I have been able to blog. I have certainly missed it and all of you. However, today while watching my favorite Sunday morning show, CBS Sunday Morning, it reminded me of the small pleasures in life that have evolved into everyone wants everything "fast, fast" today. This is over a 30 yr span. For instance I remember when letter writing used to be such a great surprise to the receiver. It is always a great feeling to go to the mailbox and find a handwritten letter from a friend or loved one. Today it's all about texting, email and voice mail. Sure these are all great features to our lives, but lack the "personal" touch. My Son Alex is a BIG texter and cannot seem to put down his phone, if he gets a text he has to see it and respond. Kids today need to be taught by the Parents, that cell phones are to be used when needed, oh but I forgot, most adults are constantly on them, just about every car you see, the driver has a cellphone stuck to their ear. I can't stand to see that, they drive horrible and this is the role model, tsk tsk. How many kids out there even know what a "land line" is? Not many. Cell phones came out and allowed us more time to do more things and it was more cost effective to get rid of the "home" phone and just use cell phones. I have gone through that and now have a home phone again, it is tied through my cable, however we get unlimited long distance, so I can call my Parents anytime for FREE, so that trumps the cellphone. These are just 2 timeless memories of the simplicities of life.
If only we could force ourselves to spend more time with our families and less time working 6 or 7 days a week, or talking, texting or emailing how much better a "people" we would be, hmmm........what a concept.
I have managed to squeeze this writing in between the Super Bowl and time with the family. We have had a great weekend and I just had to get this in. Too bad for my Arizona Cardinals.

Remember: Focus on family

Recipes

2009-01-18T11:32:00.004-05:00

For us all to be so different and the same is pretty scary for one breed. So my question to everyone is, "What is your recipe for a good, healthy life?" Just like the thousands of cookbooks and recipe books, everyone has a different version to achieve the same thing than the next person. How interesting would it be to see what everyone's thoughts are on this topic. Hmm.... I think so.

Come on people, let's give it a whirl! Pass this on to everyone you know and invite them to respond so we can all share in the many diversified ways to life.

So in this "new" year 2009 my recipe for a good, healthy life is:

Need:

1 able body
1 zest for life
1 good attitude
1 happy personality
1 dz desires to lose the stress
1 positive outlook
1 family oriented body
12 handfuls of smiles
4 bushels of hugs
1 dz fun ideas
100 gal of energy
101 ways to spend time with family and friends
365 days a year to apply everything

Mix all the above in one BIG life, day to day. Let rest for 4-6 hours, then shake vigorously and apply to your day.

Enjoy!

I hope to hear from you all, new and old. Let's wake up the life in us all!

Remember: When you least expect it, LIFE is just around the corner.

Information highway

2009-01-10T12:56:00.012-05:00

Today I relish my first week back to the workforce, outside of my domestic engineer duties and it was wonderful! Actually too good to be true. I have a no stress commute, 5 minutes each way in comparison to the hour each way of the last job. The real stress is lack of information to be communicated in order to get anything done. At work it is dealing with new systems and fumbling your way through it, wondering if you did it right, or if you will mess up everything, because you can't get the info on how to work the system. Yes I know it will take a little time for everything to come together, so I am very patient and just ebullient about it all.

Now at home, I wake up today and the garbage is overflowing, the kitchen looks like every dish we have has been used, and there's laundry on the couch, aren't teenagers somethin' ? It's just that if I don't tell them about these things, it's like they can't "see" what things might need to be done around here. I made a little trash bucket to go over the washer/dryer for lint and dryer sheets trash, etc; I put a bright label on it and it's right at eye level, it says "Please empty this when it is full". Of course today it is overflowing and I mention this to my 16 yr old and he says, "I've never seen it". Isn't that classic. I said, " I guess I should put a motion sensor with a recording of my message so everyone who does laundry will know what they need to do." He smiled, and said, "yea that would be cool." Now wouldn't it. WHY can't anyone in this house besides ME do anything??? I ask this often. Then my friends Son tells me that he needs to meet his ride, back to college, at 5PM today,!!! is this ok with me?? Hmm.......his Mom is working till 5 today. He, like most boys, flies by the seat of his pants ALL the time. His Mom should explain to him, like I have many, many times, that we ALL need information, just like he should want to know when, where, why. I guess I am just asking way too much from everyone. This is just common sense and my nature. I thrive on information and cannot perform without it. I guess that 's why I also enjoy teaching others about stuff I know that they do not. Everyone should want to be informed!

Information is something people take for granted. Not enough of it is told or explained and not enough of it is asked for. So start today to be more informational to and with everyone. The world will be a better place for it, or at least just your own little community :)

Remember: Information is key to life

A great start

2009-01-02T11:24:00.002-05:00

Hello Friends-I hope you all were able to bring in the new year in a great way. I sure did. New Year's eve was celebrated with my boys and some fireworks I got them, we had a blast, it was about time. Then yesterday I invited some old friends over for a very traditional "southern" New Year's day dinner, corned beef brisket, collard greens, cooked cabbage, green bean w/potatoes, mac-n-cheese and of course black eyed peas! What a "prosperous" feast we enjoyed and great company. We all used to hang a lot then the evil one, who is no longer a part of us had worked very hard at splitting us all up and it has taken a year for us all to come back together. I toasted yesterday to having my friends back. We also had some great cocktails, pomegranate margaritas-YUMMEE!! This wonderful experience made me think that sometimes we can call up that long lost friend and try to see if we can enjoy what we had before and make it better for this great New Year! I truly missed friendship and know as I get older it means so much to me, so I am still in awe about what a great time we have all had and am looking forward to 2009 filled with great and wonderful times.

Remember: Revive the old to enjoy the "new"

The New Year

2008-12-31T17:00:00.003-05:00

As we embark on the celebrations of another new and great year ahead, we need to be safe help each other like we never have before. This new year brings many new events in our lives and many hopes and dreams that can and will come true. I will be starting a new and wonderful job and hopefully my life will settle down a bit so I can concentrate on moving forward in a positive way and continue to grow in a prosperous way. I feel so good about putting 2008 behind me and looking so forward to 2009. I know that if we all stick together and try to help make this crazy, crazy world a better place for our future generations we will more than amaze ourselves. I think 2009 will be about reaching for the stars and actually being able to feel like we can stand on top of them and view the world below. Everyone needs to slow down and really appreciate what life has to offer and actually enjoy ourselves. Happy New Year to everyone here and beyond!

Remember: Live today like you won't be here tomorrow

Getting wired

2008-12-29T20:07:00.002-05:00

I have thoroughly amazed myself. I got Alex a desktop PC for Christmas and I have a laptop. Well I was stressing over what to do about having only one modem and all of us still being able to use the internet, you know we all have to stay connected. We already had a wireless router and I for the life of me was not sure I could connect all the wires and cables. Well sure enough I did! I can't believe it, I actually did it! We had so many electrical wiring, hook up issues with both the boys gifts, it's amazing that I was able to get them all up and running. It only took me 2 days, but that's the sacrifice we "Moms" are willing to take, cuz in the long run, Mom is the happiest :) So now everyone is happy and all hooked up.

Remember: Electrify your life by staying wired

Life's clock

2008-12-27T19:46:00.003-05:00

These past 2 days have been surreal. Christmas day my Uncle went to the ER as he could not breathe and was diagnosed with lung cancer, shaking my head, then this morning my Dad called me to tell me my Mom had a small stroke in the middle of the night, frowning and shaking my head. I have not known a family member that had cancer like this and it is very frightening. I talked with him today and he is very upbeat, close to God and ready to go. He has about a year or less to live. Very freaky. He has accepted the news and he wants us all to. You know you really are never prepared for any news like this. I also talked to my Mom and she just wants to go home. She is not a good patient at all. I feel helpless, I can't just fly or drive there. I also start my new job on the 5th. So I will just pray and hope for the best. Hoping that maybe the clock will continue to tick for these 2 dear family members for as long as possible. It just makes me think about how to handle my finances for 2009 so I will hopefully be able to replenish my savings that I had to use while unemployed. When you don't have any access to funds you feel strapped, stranded, inadequate. It is true to live today like it will be your last, enjoy everyday as much as possible. I just feel like the hamster in the wheel, trying to get ahead as fast as I can. For now, I am sad, but I know I have to be strong for my Brother and Dad. So if you all out there in blogland can keep my family in your thoughts and prayers, I would appreciate it.

Remember: Don't sweat the small stuff, life's too short.

The strength within us

2008-12-21T11:41:00.003-05:00

I am amazed at my inner emotional strength. I have always been such a strong person, and many, many times get so tired of being strong. Can't someone else do it for me? The sun has finally come out today,Hallelujah! , for the first time in 6 days!, OMG if the sun did not show itself soon , I was gonna go more crazy than I already am. So I got this great job lined up, finally, and I still have the extended "family" living with me. I have had some friends living with us since June, they have had a string of bad luck actually from bad choices which left them homeless. So I took them in for "awhile" like 3-4 mos., well that time has come. Anyway, they are waiting on social security for the husband and you know that takes a lifetime to go through. So their youngest son-19-is home from College and it is like a frickin' revolvin' door here. Kids and adults up and down all night and day. I guess we just get immune to some things. As I've said, I would rather have people living with me than me being alone. Anyway, I converted my dining room into a temp bedroom. So our space is smaller, I guess we will continue to be ok. I am just getting a little irritable on and off with all this extra turmoil and just keep praying that their $$ will come in soon so they can go their own place and I can acquire my space back, ahhh the thoughts of that just bring tears to my eyes. I have been happy to help out, but my patience is wearing thin. I know that it was a great sign from above that I did not need to go on the travel job and that is why the local job came to me, the positive energy I put out into the universe came back to me in this way. So with all that said, I am telling the universe to speed up the process of helping my friends get what they need from social security to be able to move on with their lives ASAP!

Remember: Positive energy earns positive results

When it rains it pours

2008-12-20T09:30:00.002-05:00

"Tis the season to be jolly" is putting it mild. Hard to believe that once I was booked to travel for work here comes the local opportunities! Amazing isn't it. By the grace of God, I have been spared from traveling to the frigid cold of South Dakota. Oh dang, I was so looking forward to the adventure. Whatever. I was offered and accepted a great position that will be 10 minutes from my house, unbelievable. This is the best Christmas gift I could have received. I have been through so much just this week and still forged on as I knew it would just all be fine, that's what I had to keep telling myself and my boys. I lost my car, oh well, I have found that these creditors, VULTURES, are not willing to work anyone to keep from taking a HUGE loss, they are stupid, case in point. I have a dear friend that lived on a boat for the past 8 yrs and the economy affected their business and they too lost their home(boat) this week. If these creditors would work with us, the struggling, hardworking people they would have gotten their money back that they loaned, but instead they chose to LOSE, because they are "losers". They will be the next in line begging for a bailout. Ok enough about that dreary topic, anyway, my boys are so happy that I do not have to stress anymore about employment and traveling and missing each other. Speaking of rain, it has been raining here in the BIG ATL for the past 5 days and will continue all weekend. We still are in great need of water to help refill our lakes but will probably never catch up. So it has been gray, dreary, depressing, and somewhere between the rain clouds the "silver" lining broke through. Last night was the first night in a while that I actually got to sleep. I also wanted to say that I have the BEST blogger friends in the world. Thank you to ALL of you for all your support. Let's have a bright, happy and enjoyable weekend!

Remember: If you are feeling "blue", look to the light it will brighten your day!

Fear Not

2008-12-14T12:48:00.002-05:00

As I prepare for Christmas and my "big" trip to SD I find myself subconsciously worrying about everything. I am afraid that while I am gone things will not work out at home like I would like them too, I am fearful of my mounting bills and how to put off the creditors for just a few weeks longer. All this worry and fear is getting in the way of my beauty rest! My brain spins while I try to sleep, kinda like the hamster in the wheel, faster and faster it goes, until I just give up, turn the TV on to try to get my mind off of all this FEAR. My friend just told me today that my young Son, Alex who is 16, told her that he did not want his Mom to worry while away, ahh isn't that sweet. That actually brought tears to my eyes, that I have obviously done something right in the raising of kids dept. He can read me and I didn't even realize that. How wonderful is that! So I do feel much better and while I was on my treadmill I told myself that everything will work out just fine, just the way it is supposed to. My fear was actually because of my great opportunity, which I am so grateful to have. We all tend to be fearful of rising to the top or taking on new responsibility or great opportunity. So we all need to just try to relax, that is hard for me sometimes, and just go with the moment, enjoy and breath....... No more fear here.

Remember: Don't be afraid of the fearful side of life.

Working again

2008-12-10T20:50:00.004-05:00

YEAH !!! I am going to South Dakota for a contract traveling job. I leave 12-28-08. I knew my prayers would be answered sooner than later. I have never been to SD, it will be a great adventure though. My boys are happy that I can once again bring income into the house. It truly will be a wonderful Christmas for us all. I just found out a little while ago and had to share this fabulous news with my blogging family! For all of you who have had me in their thoughts and prayers, THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU!!!

Remember: Believe and you will receive

Weird and Odd

2008-12-08T10:23:00.002-05:00

As I sit here in my "night clothes" as my oldest Son calls them, he's 24 and just got home from his night job at Target, he talks about how "weird and odd" things are. I said, " You know most of our days are weird and odd". For example, my boys are learning now about "Casper" you know the one who takes things in your home and NO ONE will fess up to it, Yea that one. Well, this weekend something of my younger Son's went missing and he knew his brother had to have taken or moved it, and it certainly wasn't me, so I said, "Well maybe Buddy or Tiger took it" ( dog and cat), he didn't think that was too funny. I told him how "Casper" had lived with us now for about 20 yrs or so, he moves with us. Our daily lives are filled with weird and odd moments that we sit and ponder and wonder about. Some of them we can fix or change and others we just have to let them be. So this weekend I started on all my Christmas decorating, I also forced myself to have a small Christmas social on the 20th. I finally feel like I am climbing up out of the abyss I have been in for several years now and how "weird and odd" for me to feel so happy and joyful when I do not have any income coming in and could lose my home and car and everything, hmm....this is where I am supposed to be anxious, stressed, crying, upset but I am not. As I have said before, I have put my situation in the hands of a higher power and I know that everything will work out just fine. I am having this party to visit with old friends and most of them are unemployed like me and we all need this to be able to laugh, which is very healthy and have a good time. This weekend I also started my recipe book, baked and cooked homemade items till my heart was content and the house is filled with happiness. So now I am under the gun to get my house in order and very christmassy, so I am off to get a shower and out of my "night clothes" and get decorating.

Remember: Experience life to the fullest, regardless of your situation

The Past

2008-12-05T23:18:00.003-05:00

For several days now I have been frantically trying to reconnect with someone from my past, my first "real" love. I moved a lot in my teen years due to my Dad's job and I was not too happy about it. I ended up going to 3 high schools and that really upset me. When I was told we had to move AGAIN from Appleton, Wisconsin to Memphis, TN in my Junior year, I was a very miserable teen to live with. I persecuted my Parents for like15 yrs, amazing isn't it. I have gotten over it now, LOL. I had this great community of friends and a wonderful boyfriend. We were "pre-engaged", he gave me a ring with a little sand chip of a diamond, but it sure was special. Then my Parents so delicately had to break the news of the next move. Of course I was not moving. Ultimately, I did as they bribed me with anything I wanted in my room. They took my Bother and I on the house hunting trip, woo hoo! So another miserable move happened against my own free will. So my boyfriend and I stayed in touch, I hated Memphis and had zero friends. He came to visit me and I went up there and then he was so distraught that I was gone, he decided to join the service to pass the time while I was finishing high school. He came to visit on one of his leaves and presented a beautiful, wonderful large marquee cut diamond engagement ring. I was in shock and excited. I was very hesitant though that he was so far away from me, Japan, and I was not sure this long distance relationship would work. That has been one of my biggest flaws, I think way too much and over analyze every situation. One thing led to another and I broke it off. It was very difficult and we were both devastated. Well, all through these years I have always thought of him and at different times I have tried like mad to locate him. I am hoping to be able to talk to him and just maybe apologize for my youthful stupidity. It is so hard when you are 17 yrs old and everyone is telling you what to do and your heart does not really agree with any of them. I am not sure how I will find him or contact him, if I do. I have found a phone number and address that could possibly be his, but of course I am too scared to call as I don't want to disrupt his household. So I think about this day and night, I am obsessed with how to reach him. It makes me think of what my life would have been like if I would have stayed with him, as most of us do. I never like to regret the past because we aren't born with a "Life" manual that has a HELP center to contact when we just aren't sure of our decisions. It would be nice. I know that I have so much ahead of me and I just feel that if I could just talk to him again I might be able to move forward better.

Remember: Don't let the past get in the way of your future.

Stayin' pumped

2008-12-02T12:51:00.003-05:00

Hello Friends- I know it has been over a week since I last wrote. I kind of got caught up doing so many other things. I found myself trying to get depressed and I just don't do that very well. I know so many people that can do it on command. If I don't talk to myself everyday about staying positive or knowing exactly the things I need to do that day then I will tend to fall toward the edge of the canyon. I managed to have a wonderful Thanksgiving, I cooked for 9 people and had a friend and her daughter from our "old" company that was kind to lay us off. So we all thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and everyone was happy and full. I sure hope all of you enjoyed your special family day too. I would have loved having my Parents and Brother with us, but that just was not in the cards this year. Basically I just really enjoy having people around me, it really helps be the accelerator to a happier life on a day to day basis. Now since I am on a "forced" sabbatical for an undetermined time frame, it is so important for me to try to find as many people to be around. Of course my 16 yr old Son keeps me pretty busy, he had another little tiny run in with the local law on Sunday night, it is just so hard to let them out of your sight for fear of any number of things that can happen. He is really a good kid and is trying to figure life and himself out, so I try to also keep him jazzed about what he can do with his young life. Being his Mom, of course I am a few minutes older than him and really don't know much about life either. At least he keeps me on my toes. So now my thoughts are on the next holiday, getting a tree up and lights outside. It has been so icky, rainy, snowy and brrrrr here that I'd like to just get back in my bed, throw the covers over my head till Spring. Since I can't do that I will just move onto my next task for the day. So stay warm and, like me, try to stay pumped!

Remember: There is life beyond the covers

The "Only" one

2008-11-22T17:48:00.004-05:00

Are you ever the "only" one that has to take and pick up your own kid and his/her friends and deliver them to their destination? Well I am and have been now for sometime. It used to be that there were some other Parents that were considerate enough to help out. My Youngest Son is 16 and so close to having his drivers license, which really wouldn't make too much difference because then I will start the "new" worry when he is out on his own. Anyway, now seems that his friends Parents are never ever willing to share this huge responsibility. I have always been know as the "cool" Mom and of course I like that. This title comes with so many extra duties too. Most of these poor kids can either stay at home, have a driving friend pick them up or me pick them up. It has finally gotten to me for the last time. I try real hard to explain to these teens about making plans and communicating about how they are getting where they plan on going and they just don't get it. My Son told me today that we had a "generation gap", I laughed and said that every generation experiences that. We are very close, and now that he is a young adult going on 30 something, we tend to clash a little more about these kids of things. My Son means well and I know that the other kids do to, I am just trying to get them to respect others, like me, and think of others and not just themselves. I feel like I am the Mother to many kids most times. I just wish that the other Parents were willing to shuttle all the kids around like I do. I have had to put my foot down today, because I ran them around last night and today. Then they wanted me to do the same again tonight as their plans changed abruptly, their driver all of a sudden could not take the car out, and his Parents always do this. It is a very sad thing, but I told my Son that they could all stay in at our house tonight or they could all go home, but I was not going to chauffeur again tonight. Most of the time I give in because I know that my Son and his friends have found other ways, not always safe, of getting where they want to go and I would not be able to live with myself if anything ever happened to them because I would not take them. I wish the other Parents would feel that same guilt. At least now I have the weather on my side, since it is a chilling 39 degrees right now, brrrr......so for now they are all in our house chillin' and eating and enjoying each other's company. I know this "kodak" moment won't last long. I am sure I will have to continue to some degree of shuttling the kids around. I just hope I can convince myself to remain calm about it. Soon enough our kids will be grown and gone :)

Remember: Never quit loving your kids, no matter what.

Thanksgiving

2008-11-18T23:24:00.003-05:00

It is hard to believe that another traditional family gathering is just around the corner. Since my circumstances changed abruptly for me this year I was not sure I was going to cook the "greatest" meal of the year. Thanksgiving is and always has been my favorite holiday. I am a true traditionalist and surprisingly so I have been able to pass that onto my boys. Anyway, my Parents came to our house last year from Bella Vista, AR. That was the first visit to see us since we moved to GA, in May 2003. Of course it was great, we always went to them. Well they were going to return again this year, well that did not work out either. So I had planned to cook, I really enjoy that anyway. Well I have a friend that thought one of her older boys were going to host the great eating fest at one of their "new" homes. Doesn't look hopeful. This is a week before and she has not heard from them. I decided that I am going to have the fabulous feast at my home. Turns out my youngest Son's girlfriend and another friend of his will not be enjoying the turkey holiday with their families. Come on, the girlfriend's Mother doesn't cook so she and the girlfriend's younger brother will be going to a movie and eating out! WHAT??? The friend has to work and his family is going to be with their extended family in VA! Come on people, this is a holiday for families and friends to come together to spend time with and enjoy a wonderful feast and remember what we have to be "thankful" for. So as usual, I will have these extra guests. I thoroughly enjoy having a lot of people to cook for. I certainly will not allow for kids to just not have anyone to share this special time with. If I could, I would open up my home to everyone and anyone. Sure I still don't have a job, but I have figured out how to make things work out and not worry about it. I know that my families situation is in the hands of a higher power and we will be just fine. So if you think that you are not able to or can't have a great Thanksgiving celebration, then you need to talk to me, because you can!

Remember: Be thankful for ALL that you have!

Energy

2008-11-17T10:51:00.004-05:00

Where do you get your energy from? Most people are so concerned for me since I am jobless and rightfully so. However, I feel more energized now than when I was going into my job day to day. I have seen a major change in my whole attitude about everything. Yes, I do not have a job, bu emotionally and physically I feel the best I have ever had. I just feel this great new found energy and it all has to do with the "freedom" to do what I want and be happy about it all for a change. I know I need to stay energized in order to continue to move forward with all my dreams and ideas. I have always been an idea person and never had the time to really focus on any of them. I'm sure that you too have had ideas and have felt the same way. I know I will accomplish what I have set out to do. You can't do everything all at the same time. We have to do what we can, while staying jazzed, one step at a time. It will all come together sooner than later. Staying energized and jazzed are easy to do as long as you tell yourself " I can do this." Just like the little engine that could, "I think I can, I think I can." Of course you can. Our minds are very strong and easily swayed. That's why it is always important to tell yourself positive things everyday and feel the energy. If you need to take a walk or a drive or something to find your energy, do it today. No matter what anyone else tells you, listen to yourself. Only you know exactly what you are capable of.

Remember: Today is the day!

Opportunities

2008-11-14T14:03:00.004-05:00

I have never really forced myself to realize just how many great and wonderful opportunities await each and every one of us until now. I have always worked my job took care of my boys and our household and went to bed, got up the next day to do it all over again. There is way more to life than just the day to day routines and we all need to wake up and find them. I was always lead to believe that I should be more cautious and not take risks and that is true for some things but many others I have found that I need to come out of my "comfort" zone and discover all the areas I can benefit from. So this is what I am doing now, full speed head. I lost my job in an industry that I have been in for 25 yrs and struggled most of the time and now I am doing so many different things. I have "come out of my shell" so to speak. I invested in becoming a real estate agent, because I know my vast experience in the mortgage industry will help me and I am sure you could expand on any of your experience to find a great opportunity as well. I am tired of sitting in an office all day. It is time for me to get out there and really find myself, because I lost myself about 7 years ago. I have had a difficult time coming back and I am now strong enough and determined enough to do everything that I can get my hands on. So I know that there are many other people out there that may feel the same as me and may be depressed or unhappy or unmotivated to think that they can not do anything good for themselves and I am here to tell you that YOU CAN! I am here to help you see that and help you find that. If you have any kind of issues that are blocking you from your opportunities, please let me know and I will and can help you figure them out. I feel that all my life's experiences and my career experiences will help many people just like me. So write me and let me help out!

Remember: You can do anything you want and be anything you want only if you try.

A "Real" friend

2008-11-06T23:30:00.004-05:00

What is a "real" friend? I guess I am too laid back and easy going. I am usually very reserved when I meet new people. You have to kind of store your thoughts about them to be used at a later date. It's crushing when you put all your time and efforts in what you believe is a true friend to find out you have know a "FAKE". That hurts! You know they say you really know some one when you live with them. Wrong.......been there, done that. I am not really sure if we ever know that we can ever trust someone or know they are really a friend to us. We just have to go with the flow, day by day and just try to be trusting until the "friend" gives you a reason to think otherwise. I think friends are overrated anyway. It would be nice to have more like many people I know. I guess I am just not supposed to have many or 2 or 3. I don't know. So I will just try to work on myself and more "real friends" will come my way someday.

Remember: Don't throw stones at glass houses

Survival

2008-11-03T10:47:00.005-05:00

Isn't it funny how stress gets to us and sometimes we don't even realize it. Of course my back is on the fritz, has been for 3 days now. I have to mend myself and it is difficult when there is not much help in my household. My boys will do something for me if I beg and plead with them. At night when I am supposed to be sleeping, my mind just races and worries about money, a job and how I will survive. Then I don't get much sleep and I'm sure you can figure the end result. I have survived other detriments to my financial picture and managed to rise above it all. It's just now it seems much more severe. I don't have a spouse or boyfriend to lean on and it sure would be nice to have that special someone to lean on. Wouldn't it be great if we could all ban together to help each other? After all that 's all we really have is each other. So today I will try to do some positive things and help reduce my stress and look for the good things in this day.

Remember: It is what it is

The grim job search

2008-11-02T13:19:00.004-05:00

Isn't it funny how you may find a prospective employer that has an immediate need to fill a position and it takes forever to hear back from them? Today's times are the worst I've ever experienced. Finding gainful employment seems very dismal at this point. I try to stay positive and all that, but I still continue, secretly, to worry about my not too distant future. It seems that right now a decent paying job is not to be found. There are so many people like me that are also doing the same thing. It would be great if our very own gov't would help us out. There is too much bureaucracy within our country which therefore hurts the little people like us. We should be able to access unemployment much quicker and receive more than what the max is-$330. a week. Not too many people can live on that. That's $1430. a month. WOW ! I was against the Wall Street bailout like many of you, and yet our "loyal" Senate and House reps were forced to vote for it. The "working" people of this Country need the bailout help long before the corps of Wall Street! Those CEO's and other higher ups that received so many millions with their jobs certainly don't have to worry about whether or not they can feed their families or pay their monthly living expenses, while the "little" like us that have worked long, hard hours get the "shaft". Regardless of "who" will be our next President, they will be walking into a big giant mess and will take almost the 4 yrs to get back on track. In the meantime while we struggle to get back on track now.
Ok I guess that is enough ranting and raving by me. I would like to hear from any of you about this and how your life experience is going during these rough and bleak times.

Always remember: Never give up!

Is there life after a job layoff?

2008-11-01T13:10:00.006-04:00

Hello People - It has now been 2.5 weeks since I lost my job, bummer. Things look a little more scarier today than the first week. I have not been able to find work within my field, mortgage industry, just like so many others in this same field. I spend a lot of time trying to figure out what else I can do. My boys asked me the first week how we would pay for things. Of course I reassured them that things would be ok. That is so "momly" isn't it. I am taking the real estate course to become a licensed real estate agent. Something I've wanted to do for a while now. This appears to be a great time to do this since there are many homes to be sold and many more to come. I would really like to try many things that I've wanted to and hope that I can. I hear my Parents voice in my head, in a negative tone, not to do something different. Maybe I only perceive it as "negative" since I am the kid. Kids seem to view things their Parents say much differently than possibly the way it really was meant to be. So I may have taken it negatively and they didn't mean it that way. I think this is where the term "generation gap" came from. Anyway, I just may be burned out in this industry I've been in for 25 yrs. It is time to do something different. I feel I would excel and be able to earn more money. The hope and thought that we might be able to do something different to earn money to live on always brings happiness to me. We have so many opportunities and many of us never take advantage of them. I don't want to be in my 60's or 70's and wonder how I would have done if I stepped out of the box I've been in for years. I am learning how to "not" listen to the voice of my Parents in my head and go with my gut. I am a smart person and yearn for more life!

So be sure to remember: Go after all your dreams, the sooner the better

Kids and Credit

2008-02-09T13:22:00.000-05:00

You know as Parents today we really need to be teaching our kids more about what to do with money earned, like saving it or investing it or at least spending it wisely. There are way too many Parents that give and give and give to their kids and there is no lesson to be learned. Then when they become young adults they don't really know how to manage their finances, let alone know what the meaning of finances are. I've tried the allowance thing the reward for doing a job or chore and these have not made an impact on my boys at all. My oldest works full time now and he has finally gotten the hang of "how" to manage his money for the first time ever, he is only 23 but I feel accomplished in this area since I had a lot to do with it. My younger Son just does not have the drive, he will be 16 on Valentines Day, to work to earn the money the regular way. He likes more odd type jobs and not a whole lot of work. Which confuses me since he has watched me struggle to take care of he and his Brother I figured he'd be more like, "hey, I wanna get out in the world and make a difference." He seems to be somewhat confused anyway about his purpose in life, aren't most teens? So I try everyday to show him how money can be earned and spent and why it is important to save.
Someday I hope they both will be on their own and enjoying what life has to offer.

Remember: Follow your dreams and be all you can be

Cleanse for life

2008-01-27T15:22:00.000-05:00

Ahh it is now a "new" year and we are able to make positive changes for ourselves. Have you ever looked around your house to realize just how much stuff you have accumulated and you don't ever use? That's what I have been doing now for several weeks. You don't really see it. I have found out that I can sell my stuff in the various ways we have now and earn a few bucks and rid, "cleanse" my house, my "space" for a more Feng Shui feel. Now you don't have to sell your stuff, you can donate to many charities or give to someone who can use. However it is a great way to put a little extra cash in your hands and you learn a lot of new experiences. So try it, look around your garage, closets are a great hiding place for stuff, drawers, kids rooms, attics, basements, you will surprise and amaze yourself.
Please email with any questions, ideas or comments. I am always open to them. So get busy and make some change, literally.

Remember:
Change is good

Holidays

2007-12-25T09:23:00.000-05:00

Merry Christmas to all! What a great time of the year for my family and I hope you and your family are experiencing a great time together as well. We have all gathered up the best possible gifts for our friends and family and are now enjoying time together and getting ready to "break bread" together too. What a wonderful time of the year.

This is a good time to think of the great opportunities ahead of us for 2008. We need to think smart and try to prepare ourselves for any and all emergencies. During the Holiday rush we sure don't mind spending money like we have it forever. I happen to have what I considered a catastrophe, last Friday I bought my family a brand new main water line as the one in the ground had burst. I was distraught. Not sure how to handle this. I don't have a husband to help with these things. My oldest son had just arrived home from his night job and I, of course, was at my job. He was able to work with the plumbers for me while I talked to them and we were able to scrape just enough money to pay for it. Of course I was very concerned about my boys Christmas. It was interrupted, however I feel that our Christmas holiday is sort of a divine intervention for my family to see. My new water line cost $1,000., which was all I had. My plan was to get my boys some nice things and have enough money until payday and to keep me current. It just so happened that I came into a nice $1,000. bonus the day before the catastrophe along with grocery and gas gift cards along with none other than a WII game system. WOW to my surprise how things in our lives work out. The power of the life paths are so intriguing to me and always will be. I feel very blessed and very grateful.

This whole experience has made me realize that saving more money NOW is so important. So I am on a mission to increase my savings to $200. mo. and I will just do it. It is so important, you don't know how scared and alone for a split moment I felt. If I had not been so blessed to have received that money, I do not know how I would have paid for my family to have water and just in time for Christmas. So now is the time to re-evaluate our spending and saving habits.

Have a wonderful Christmas and safe and Happy New Year!

Remember: Always pay yourself first!

The power of information

2007-11-10T12:50:00.000-05:00

Everyday we need information and we give information in all aspects of our life. We need to make sure we have all the information and that it's correct. When you talk to a Loan Officer about a home loan there are specific and basic pieces of information you will need. If you go prepared the loan application process will be so much smoother. You will need your ID, drivers license, passport or equivalent, and social security card. Your most recent pay stubs covering a one month period and past 2 yrs W2's. If self employed you need your past 2 yrs tax returns with all schedules. Most recent 2 months of bank statements, if you don't have a bank account now, you need to go open one up. Your money for closing costs, down payment and reserves needs to be documented as to where it came from, so get an account opened today. If you have a 401K through work bring the most recent statement or any life insurance policy with a cash value will also be good. If you have CD's, money market or a trust be sure to have all that information for the LO to be able to verify with a verification of deposit, VOD. If you pay or receive child support bring the divorce decree or child support order. Landlord information or if you live with family you will need those names and addresses. You will also need to bring a check for your credit report as the LO will pull your credit while you are there and be sure to review the whole report to be sure all credit good or bad is yours. If you have paid collections or tax liens or judgments in the past they may very well still show up on your CR as those places say they will report the payment to the credit bureaus and they rarely do, so also keep all your documentation and information of paying these things for the future.
Yes a lot of information is needed to buy a home, but the end result of home ownership a very rewarding feeling. So be prepared and the whole mortgage loan application will not be as painful as you have heard.

Remember: Information is knowledge

Discipline

2007-11-09T21:08:00.001-05:00

Most of us think discipline is something you do to your kids. You never realize it is something we need to do in our everyday lives. Discipline is what more adults need. It will help you achieve everything you want out of life. Too many people live in the fast lane all the time and do not discipline themselves as far as pleasure in life. Sure we all deserve to enjoy ourselves and do what we want, but we will stay in the hole forever unless we discipline ourselves to not getting everything we always think of.
For instance I know people that go out and buy whatever they think they should have, not "need", but want. One in particular gets a new cell phone every month, week, whenever and new computers, TV's, yet cannot keep up with the everyday living expenses and was a homeowner but let the house go. This is a prime example of someone who lacks discipline. She will now have to spend the next 3-5 yrs fixing her credit. This will require discipline and without it she will never gain credit again. This is what we do to ourselves.
So start today with discipline in your budget, spending and dealing with everyday life.

Remember: Discipline is not just for kids

Role Models

2007-11-05T21:35:00.000-05:00

We don't know when growing up that we might someday have children and have to know what to teach them about life. They sure don't give you a handbook at the hospital while checking out that instructs you on how to be a good role model in all aspects for your children. We mainly rely on our Parents and Grandparents, who, by the way also were left with the same dilemma. So each generation stumbles through and we all try to do the best we possibly know how. What I have learned as a single Mom for many years is to show my boys how to work hard to earn a living and be successful and to SAVE. My Parents struggled like I have for many years and my Brother and I really didn't know it, because they covered up their money troubles, I'm sure they didn't want us to worry. Of course I am still to this day very fortunate to have both my Parents and they are still married to each other, 50 yrs. This is something many people today don't have. With that my Dad was and still is a hard worker and very smart. He worked outside the home while my Mom was the domestic engineer. She kept all the inner gears of our household running smoothly as possible, while Dad traveled for his job every week. So over the years after I became an adult, married and divorced with 2 boys to raise, I realized I had learned how to survive on very little money while trying to "rob peter to pay paul", after many years it became very tiresome and old. I have finally figured out how to make myself save money and am trying to teach this same philosophy to my boys so they won't have to face crisis's unprepared. There is nothing worse than thinking you have more money in your bank account and then you discover how wrong you were. One clerical error can cost you hundred's of dollars. I know, I have lost many, many dollars this way. Our Parents are our role models and they do the best they can. Mine did. I have learned from them that you continue to do what you believe in and be positive about it everyday and you will be successful. My Dad has been successful and I have too for not going to college. My degree is in the Mortgage business.
Think about what you have ever learned from your Role Models and try to incorprate that into your life.
So start today by writing down a simple budget plan for yourself and your kids can start learning as early as 12. You can use notebook paper, write down what income is coming into the household and what your bills, expenses are to go out for the month. Once you see it on paper and know in your head how much money you have for wiggle room, you will tend to not overspend. In today's times we all have to learn how to build our wealth by spending our money very carefully.
If you ever have a question or comment, please feel free to email me. I am always willing to help people think in the right direction.

Remember: Think smarter not harder

Communication

2007-10-29T20:26:00.000-04:00

Have you ever played "the phone game"? You know where one person tells someone something and then that person passes along what they "thought" they heard and so on until it reaches the last person who has to tell the group what was said to begin with and it is always something so different than what was actually said. Sometimes, alot of times, when you are talking to a credit professional or mortgage specialist it seems like this happens and you wonder how things could get so messed up. It is so important to tell everything about your situation as correctly as possible, because most all of your info has to be verified and clarified. It seems the mortgage banking industry is all about making sure everything everyone has said is exactly true to the best of every one's knowledge. All this verifying and clarifying makes the process to obtain credit or a mortgage loan seem that much more difficult.

So to make things easier on yourself and everyone else of interest be sure you gather up all your information and or documents to make your credit experience more pleasant than some. It's all about COMMUNICATION.

Remember: Communication is the key to everything!

Why good credit is good

2007-10-28T11:10:00.004-04:00

Good credit is like money in your pocket. Even if you have no credit and lots of money this is still not good. The lending industry these days view someones credit history as a gauge for how they might repay a loan. If you have no credit there is no way to know if someone actually pays their bills and on time. Sometimes you can provide what is called alternative credit to show how you pay your bills, ie; utilities, car insurance, rent/housing, etc; In today's times lender's are more apprehensive in lending when there is no history of repayment unless you put down a good amount of money which in most lender's eyes says you won't walk away at the risk of losing all that money, just as if you threw it out the window. There are many things you can do to improve your credit when it is tarnished. Some people think once they have the bad credit there is nothing to do about it.
I have been in the Mortgage business 24 yrs. and my credit is not what it should be. However, I have been a single Mom for many years and that does sometimes put many extra strains on how we dole out our money in order to continue with daily life. I have struggled and still do with tarnished credit against me. I am working to get it cleared up, but it does take time and diligence everyday. I have found that most of us like to spend, spend, spend. I have not really done a lot of spending, but I have made stupid choices in what I may have spent money on and thus the snowball effect takes place. I know many people in my position that only have themselves to borrow from and in the end that costs us much more money than we ever intended. I believe that good money skills should be taught when you are a child and I know I wasn't. My Parents struggled when my Brother and I were young and eventually they got it all straightened out and got through it. I watched this and both my Brother and I have continued to have money issues, rough credit and no savings. I am now a homeowner and have started saving with a small savings account and through a 401K at work. If you really think about it, the cost of a pizza meal delivered is what you could put in a savings account a month. If that's all you can do for now, that is a great start. It is never too late or too little. I have 2 boys and I am trying to instill good spending and saving habits and it is still difficult to do. My oldest is 23 and works now for 15 mos. and keeping a job was the most important part first, now it is about saving and not spending. My other son is 15 and of course likes to spend money he doesn't have. I am working on that as well.
So my whole point is that you may hear out in the world that you must save so much and if you don't start when you are an infant you will never have any retirement, all this negativity, anyway, you can do whatever you want as long as you continue to think positive and make positive changes, large or small. You can do it. So today start writing down how you can improve your whole financial picture without taking food off your table or doing without. Try brown bagging your lunches more, making meals at home more. None of this will kill anyone, it is what our families did and we need to stay away from the fast food life as much as possible, so much more expensive yet people today have gotten caught up in the fast lane of life and forget really how to live. So start today to show yourself how you can begin to improve your credit quality and become a homeowner someday yourself or buy that new car that you need and learn to change your spending habits. All of this is just about 3-6 mos away if you really put your mind to it.

Remember: Make good choices.

To buy or not to buy

2007-10-28T11:10:00.003-04:00

I know you really want to buy that dream home you have always thought of. It is not always the best choice for you at the time. So you find a Real Estate Agent to show you homes. You know what you think you can afford based on the current rent you pay or not if living "rent free" with family. So you see several homes the agent picked and none really light your fire, so the agent takes you to others they are a higher sales price and of course you love them and you found one that you must have. Great! Now you are wondering if you really can afford this wonderful home and the agent tells you that on paper, YES you qualify. Another GREAT! So now you have bought your home and now your gutters have all fallen off and you don't have the money to replace or your washer has flooded in your home and your carpet needs to be replaced. In the meantime of checking with your homeowners insurance agent and/or your home warranty company you have to make spend money for the carpet or to go to the laundry mat or so on. These are all extra expenses you did not account for at the most jubilant time of your life. Buying a home is one of the biggest events to happen and the biggest purchase you will make. So being prepared definitely helps.
To qualify for the home with no money you can chose to use one of the down payment assistance programs(DPA) that is currently offered for FHA insured properties. The Seller of the home you like agrees to participate in the DPA program and this required 3% down payment is included in the sales price, therefore increasing your loan amount and house payment, but you don't have to put any money of your own into the transaction and you don't really have any money to anyway so you like this idea.
At this time FHA is looking to add tougher credit restrictions to allow the use of the DPA gift, which is good. Most people today need to really take a long hard look at their current credit picture and write how much money comes into the household and how much goes out to know how much y0u can start saving. In order to buy a home you should really have 6 months mortgage payments saved in the bank. You never know when you will need that money. Owning a home adds a lot of new responsibility to your life now.
Real Estate Agents want to make the sale to gain the commission and don't always tell you all the pitfalls to becoming a first time homeowner. There are a handful that will help counsel you, but it is always best if you do your research before you start looking. Once you start looking and see something you like you usually can't say no. So be prepared. You will sleep easier at night knowing you CAN afford your home and you were prepared.

Today is the best time to start saving, planning and preparing.

Remember: The harder you work the luckier you get